the end of 2006

i'm not so much into new years resolutions, i have never made one. there is just so much pressure on a "new years resolution" that it seems as though it is bound to end in failure. everyone resolves to loss weight, change jobs, or change something about themselves. but that comes around once a year, and IF you're lucky it might carry into February. however, i'd be a sorry excuse for a therapist if i said self-improvement and growth was unnecessary. but why set myself up for failure? rather, i prefer to have a running resolution to be aware of my own internal dialogue and my relationships with those around me. being aware of these dialogues, i want to make those resolutions throughout the year.

so...a couple hours left in 2006. began the year with my first clients and worked through cognitive assessment and beginning with clients at the jail. spring started with clients and feeling entirely "green". i got my feet wet and moved on through the semester. i've met some interesting people this year and surprised myself at times. the summer was crazy between the summer tux job, a short visit home, and moving a couple times within two months. summer ended with a new roommate, new house, and starting my second year in my program. i was able to get home for most of the holidays and continue to figure out the whole family vs. friends time when home. i love it out in oregon and feel so fortunate to have made the friends i have and be in community with some truly amazing people.
if 2007 brings activity like 2006 i will surely not be bored.

commercial christmas

a couple days ago my friend debbie and i went to the ginormous mall of america and stumbled upon what is supposed to be the world's largest gingerbread house at 65 feet tall. one more reason to come visit the moa i guess. don't get me wrong, it was huge. it had animated elves, dot candies the size of me, and something like 5,000 pounds of icing. pretty cool. i really wanted to eat something off the house, just to say i did. how awesome to have eaten part of the largest gingerbread house in the world?!? i know what most of you are thinking though, "gross, you know how many other people have done that?", so no i didn't do it. i might have to go back and grab a dot if this keeps eating me up.

Ahh, the Wonders of Paxil

I don't know what it is but I find this so very funny.

the good ol' days

it snowed today! it reminded me of the days when i was little and it seemed to just dump buckets of snow. today was no blizzard by any stretch, but beautiful big flakes definitely brought me back. it's so easy to get reminiscent when i go home. on top of it...Christmas simply implies snow. the northwest is gorgeous and green but winter still means snow, cold, and ice to me. so to have snow a couple days before Christmas was great. when i was a kid i would dig snow forts in the front yard and make snow angels. maybe over the weekend there will be enough snow to build a fort. for tonight it's just a relaxing night at home in front of the television. it started out raining and so i thought i brought west coast rain with me back to the midwest. but it changed over to sleet and then snow. so with the snow today i decided to build the smallest ever snowperson and share it on my blog. if it snows enough i can dig out the snowblower for the driveway. at least it's not too cold; i haven't had to plug in my car yet!! thats one thing i haven't had to do out in portland. no nights cold enough to pull out the extention cord in oregon. no one seemed to understand why i had an electrical outlet hanging out of the front of my car. i've got about one more week here in the good city of mpls and then down to JAX to see the rest of the fam for new years. and then back home to oregon.

home away from home

Here I am in Minnesota. And to my surprise, no snow! Looks like it will definitely be a brown Christmas, not even green like back at home in Oregon. It's been nice to reconnect with Friends back in Minneapolis but I'm missing my Oregon peeps already. I feel very blessed to be where I am in my life, and to have the chance to see everyone back here again. See you all back in Oregon in a couple weeks!!

it is finished

the last assessment has been interpreted, the last report written, and the last exam taken. the semester is finally over. the semester that so many have described as one of the worst of the program. i spent 7 hours writting up my final report in order to turn in before the deadline...one of the shortest calls i've made yet. thank God for Sarah and having a much-needed relaxing night before i go back home. a three week break that i am so grateful for. then coming back to start a whole new semester with people, clients and classes.

eating, drinking, sleeping finals

finals are this week. and of course i'm up writing a paper tonight, trying to finish so i can begin studying for my CBT final tomorrow morning. then comes the lovely cog/iq report...that will be a joy :) i'm anticipating the end of this week and the 3 week break that follows. i can't wait to see old friends back home and get some time to sleep. signing off.

grrr

alright i'm trying to make this thing look semi-creative beyond what blogger offers for templates but i suppose nows a bad time in the semester to try and figure it out. i would kill to get the dang "suga's sample blog" off here but no idea. for now just imagine it says "mer's sample blog" or something like that. maybe my christmas break will give me more time

december 1

It's that time of year again. The post thanksgiving bliss of my birthday has arrived. I'm another year older and another year close to my 1/4 century mark. Birthdays get a little different every year, not sure if its a good or bad different. Just different. The library will kick me out soon so, off I go for dinner and after-dinner shinanigans.

Is that my final answer??

Alright, I've got two hours to make my decision about what I want to dedicate the next 2 years of my academic life to. I get to go into my next meeting to declare my dissertation topic to the lucky and privileged future head of my dissertation committee.
On top of that, its crunch time with finals coming up in the next 2-3 weeks.
And I had THE most difficult and challenging session of my clinical life yesterday. I'm still processing through it, examining my own reactions and those of my client. Suffice to say, it was a great experience for me despite the range of emotions I feel about it.

going "home"

Back to the frozen tundra today. I'm back home in the land of 10,000 lakes and fighting off jet lag. The first night is always the worst, ya know. I see the clock, and I know its ACTUALLY 1:30 in the morning yet my body isn't feeling it. Last trip home I was up until 3, wide awake. I guess I'll see what tonight brings. So I said to myself "hey, what else is better than to blog when I can't sleep and there is wireless internet just begging to be used?" So back home...it's a different feeling every trip I make back to the mother land. A lot of thoughts, memories, friends and family that make it nice to come back and also difficult considering where I'm at in my life right now.
Turkey day is tomorrow and I'm SO looking forward to the turkey-stuffing-corn-pie event that America has dibs on. Definitely a food and football day. Lots of relatives that I haven't seen in a several years are coming over which always makes for an interesting holiday ;) My cohortian fellows are getting together for some turkey grub back in the OR and I'm bummed that I'm missing out on it. They have really become my family away from home. Boy, I don't know what I would do without some of them. Reminds me just how much I live in relationship with people, how much my life is enriched by some of the most incredible people I've ever met. I miss them dearly. I am so amazingly blessed to be in the program I'm in, the house and roommate I have, and the support of so many people from my cohort and church community. Hmmm, interesting how that stuff just comes out. I don't take much time to think about it but I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

epic

So I'm sitting in class and have arrived at a new discovery. I have decided to follow in the footsteps of the esteemed Emil Kraepelin. "Who is Emil Kraepelin?" you may say. Well despite being a newly identified hero of mine, he is most likely unknown to those not in History and Systems of Psychology. Kraepelin has earned my admiration and respect for being one of the first Clinical Psychology graduate students. Although he opposed my fav psychoanalytic theory, we hence share the same link of psychology graduate students. Unfortunately someone beat me to the punch in developing a fan club, see here

where did i put my hooka

Baltimore, MD: A synthetic version of the marijuana compound tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) appears to reduce agitation and stimulate weight gain in patients with Alzheimer's disease, according to clinical trial data presented earlier this month at the annual meeting of the American Geriatrics Society.


Interesting use of pot, thinking we could achieve the same effects without the high. But hey I'm just a midwest girl...lead the way Oregon.

retirement

today was my last day working! hooray for me. i'll miss my coworkers but enjoy the time off. i'm exhausted so this is short, good night ya'll

someday i'll be a doctor

feel as though I've been running constantly the past month. school began and all that goes along with a graduate program... clinical sites, dissertations, random supervision and assessment. it seems at times that i'm going into a year long hibernation. however a hibernation where i'm engulfed with work rather than sleeping the next 8 months away. soon i'll be wrapping up my actual employment and becoming once again a fully devoted student. it will definitely be nice to have my weekends back to catch up from the week and hang out. the 10-12 hour days are wearing me down and i'm ready to easy up the schedule, even just cutting out the 20hr work week.
i'm expecting the semester to be busy, challenging and really good for me. the last couple weeks i've been working on a suicide assessment training for the Multnomah county corrections health department. been interesting to take a step out of the "student" role and into a professional setting and be able to contribute. the year will be a series of great stories and experiences, i have no doubt.

Need a good doctor?

Saw this from my roommate...check it out. What a funny kid!

blogging hiatus

So in an oddly survivor-isk fashion I spent the last month without my internet access. During which I realized how intensely dependent my life has become on this lovely invention of the www. Now I realize to some this seems entirely spoiled and hey maybe it is. However, I tend to think it demonstrates the change of generations. When looking for a cab company, or bus schedule, or phone number we immediately turn to our computers and mindfully forget that there's a phone book sitting on the top shelf of the closet gathering dust. So needless to say I'm back to my internet and coming back from my blogging hiatus.
With the beginning of school and settling into a new place I'm gearing up for the next academic year which I hear is a tough one and sends many a students into therapy themselves. Bring it on...

scorchin' hot days of summer

This has been by far the hottest day in Oregon this year. I am sweating and have been sitting in front of this fan the entire night. Afraid to move unless I cause my body to exert more energy creating any form of heat radiating from my body. Its on days like this that I dream of air conditioners (if I can sleep long enough to dream that is) and spend my free time wondering around Fred Meyer. One could spend hours and hours wondering around that place. In fact you could most likely find everything needed for life there...food, clothes, security systems, and otter popsicles. yum yum.

bff??

Tales of disasterous love abound, but there is something about a failed friendship that makes those involved guard it like a shameful secret. Even country music, with it's laundry list of heartache and longing, won't touch it.
But friendship is suppose to be made of sturdier stuff, a less complicated, more enduring relationship. Because of this, the story of a breakup with a friend often feels far more revealing than that of a failed romance. As if it exposes our worst failings and weaknesses. After all, an exfriend is someone who knew our deepest secrets and then vanished, someone we drove away or who chose to leave us. And still yet in some we see mirrors in which we desperately hope to glimpse a sharper and clearer, or simply more interesting image of ourselves.
Losing a friend is painful, even wrenching. A loss of this sort leaves a void that is impossible to fill, since it is impossible to recreate the quirks and qualities, the gifts and strengths, and even the flaws, that drew us to a particular person, that move us to chose one person rather than another, as our friend. Often this person knows a self we have kept hidden from the rest of the world, a self we may have hoped to retire or to pretend never existed. They know our history, and they remember it. And for this reason they continue to haunt us.

new beginnings?

yet another blog is born...you may have thought there were enough blogs out there. however, there my friend is where you are mistaken.